Human is a social creature. We need to keep interacting with people, improve our social skills and be excellent in general.
Have you ever seen a person, who comes into your office and exhausts his presence to everyone around?
He is smart, social, knows which words should he use in different situations, he knows how to keep up with the conversation and most important – all those skills allow him to have massive success with the opposite sex.
Now let’s be honest here, if you are not having the same success with the girls around, there is only 1 thing why you fail – yourself.
Let’s find out why.
You don’t know how to initiate a contact
Let’s change the phrasing. You think starting the contact is meaningless. All these pick-up guides where a guy wearing a slim fit t-shirt is explaining to geeks how to seduce a girl have made a general topic of interacting with the girls even more meaningless.
Now its common to believe that if you are asking yourself how to initiate contact with the girl – you are a loser. And even more – if you approach a girl on the street – this is weird, and you are in despair.
Everyone around keeps saying: “Be yourself,” but when that doesn’t work – they say “don’t worry, a girl you want will come to your life by herself. No need to chase anyone”. But there is a risk that this waiting period can be too long.
And there you are, 40 years old, and you still keep “being yourself,” but your dream girl didn’t come yet.
You need to understand, and not when you are 40, but now, when you are 20 years old, that telling to the opposite sex about your sympathy, inviting for a date or a dinner is a good thing, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
You don’t look after yourself
Let’s say now you know how to initiate contact.
But you noticed that most of the approaches are negative. That means you are on the point of starting to take care of yourself.
You received one – two – five refusals – this probably means that you are just not the type of a guy for a girl you approached. If the refusal rate is at 100% – this is the indicator that the problem is in yourself. Good manners, charisma, and knowledge on how to treat a girl are essential and for every girl creates a picture of you as a person. But the exterior is even more important. Would you ever have a crush for a below-average looking girl? I don’t think so. Now don’t expect a girl to have a crush on a below-average looking guy with a messy hair, dirty clothes and beer belly. It takes time to fix all those flaws.
But instead of telling you that everything is easy, we tell you the truth, and we won’t lie to you saying that any girl will fall in love with you after a couple of well-said pickup lines.
Success depends on how hard you work on something, how much time you spend on it and how dedicated you are to follow your aim. Working on yourself is a tough task, but one of the most rewarding. There are no vacations, but a bonus is even more rewarding!
You stay at home. A lot.
Don’t be a sofa guy. A lot of guys I know prefer to stay at home, watching NETFLIX or wasting time playing FORTNITE.
Does that make you a better version of yourself? For sure not.
You just can’t meet a girl if your movement geography is tied to your room, kitchen, and toilet. Well, it can, but only if you live at the PLAYBOY MANSION.
Go out. Anywhere. Park, bar, nightclub, museum, exhibition, mall – any place where you can find a lot of people hanging around.
It’s even not about approaching a girl. Your social skills depend on how often you interact with other people. And your social skills depend on how well you will position yourself in your life.
You hide your intentions
Your fear of refusal can make you hide your intentions when you hold a conversation with the girl you like.
Even when you see each other every day and already know a lot of things about each other, something can prevent you from breaking the wall between friendship and romance. But at some point you have to tell yourself that all these conversations about Chuch Norris movies and Dostoyevsky are great, but its time to go for a date.
Friendzone, which is hated by every guy, is most of the times caused by the guy himself. But what do you wait for? That the girl will ask you for a date? That she will start flirting with you, buying you gifts and accompanying you back home? If you are not happy with the current state of your relations with the girl, you are the one who should change that. At least tell her about your sympathy, to begin with. If friendship is not what you re looking for, her refusal will at least hint you that you should stop wasting your time and there is no point to continue. But most probably she is waiting when you are finally going to call her for a date!
You don’t have enough self-confidence
Most often, not having enough confidence in yourself is a starting point for all the problems we discussed before.
Low self-confidence is horrible just because you know you will fail even before you start.
You don’t call her for a date just because you know she will refuse, you don’t want to flirt with her because you think you are not her type of a guy. You think its easier to find a girl that won’t put your self-confidence into question. In simple words – you are looking for a simple way to keep up with your life. And usually, this applies to all aspects of your life.
Why would you prepare a steak if you can just eat bread and butter? By the end of the day, you will have something to eat anyway. But meat is always more delicious!
