Can you call yourself a psychologically strong man right here and now? And in general, what does this mean? After all, this concept is not sufficiently transparent, because each person has its own definition, characterizing this state of mind and soul.
Confidence and calmness, self-sufficiency and independence, strong will and emotional balance, ability to withstand stressful situations and choose the best solution in a difficult moment – all these are bright sides of one gem, and, of course, each of us dreams of possessing a full set of such cool characteristics.
Moreover, we ourselves always, willingly or unwillingly, evaluate people by these parameters, and we wish to communicate and go along with such people. Morally stable person easily wins the favor of others, which is explained by the fact that his strength, denoted as charisma, the core (yes, whatever you want to call it!) helps him to maintain coolness and endurance.
The result is one: his approval and friendship are in demand, he is rapidly growing in the career ladder, jumping a couple of steps per step. People feel strength and avoid entering into conflicts with such a person, do not dare to infringe on his interests and even often betray their “without a fight”.
It all sounds very cool in theory, and in practice to be a mentally stable person in the modern world – is almost impossible. The frenzied dynamics of life in the metropolis and the constant stress, create a generation of irritable, aggressive and unrestrained people who sooner or later lose the ability to reason soberly and make fatal mistakes under the influence of powerful emotions.
Stress resistance is not a newfangled concept invented by expensive psychologists, whose weakly characterised clients are their daily bread.
Both in sports and combat training, lessons of psychological firmness occupy leading positions. The writer under the pseudonym of “Viktor Suvorov”, describing his training in the special service of the GRU in the 70s of XX century, mentioned a very interesting stress resistance training: a person is given a piece of paper with some text and a task – for example, to circle the letter “o”, emphasize the letter “e”, put a tick above the letters “a”. The time limit is given – for example, 2 minutes. The time is up, and then interference begins. For example, the record is turned on and the voice shouts: “Stress “o”! Circle “a”! Put a tick above the “e”! – Trying to distract the trainee. Or a random person tries to rip out a piece of paper, push your hand, or say something that distracts your attention on the test. The same training can be done by playing blitz chess, which should be played with a strict time limit.
And no matter how pleasant the reputation of impulsive daredevils is, hot guys are heroes for a short time, they can win the battle, but the war is won by people with cold heads.
And let you never participate in military battles or top-secret operations, we can learn a few lessons from those people who have survived the hardships of battles and did not let the difficult circumstances to break themselves.
These tips will fit perfectly into your working or personal life, making your backbone steel and nerves iron.
Openness and Trust
A man needs a man. And he who claims the opposite, hiding under the mainstream mask, is a misanthropic, perhaps just a pathetic loser, and this characteristic by definition – is an antonym of a psychologically stable person. No matter how “lone wolf” you are, the support of family and friends is a fundamental aspect in the formation of psychological strength.
A few years ago, in America, a scientific study was carried out, in which the role of “guinea pigs” was played by people whose field of work and general way of life were associated with constant stress. It was found that the most important protective factor is the presence of a close person to whom you can talk about the troubles and share your painful moments. Only 4% of the subjects with constant stress and the presence of a mysterious soul and heart fell into depression, and if such a person did not have such soulmate, the risk of depression jumped up to 37%.
As paradoxical as it may sound, if you keep everything to yourself as, in your opinion, and befits a real man, sooner or later this bomb made of hidden anger, irritation, bitterness and resentment will burst so much that it will not seem enough. The notion of moral stability rejects such qualities as arrogance, pride and inaccessibility. Psychologically strong people meet stress with a raised fence, and do not run away from it. Strength implies trust in friends and the ability to discuss personal problems.
So, if life has not put you in a very pleasant position, do not go away and do not shut yourself up. Look for people who are struggling with these situations, share your fears with them, ask for advice. The best counselors in a stressful situation are people who have already experienced it. Build a relationship with those who believe in tomorrow and are not afraid of difficult tasks. Avoid people who are looking for easy ways to live: don’t expect support from them.
Be Ready for Mistakes
One day, when I become an old fart, I will write my own version of how steel hardens, and the first item will be the ability not to take individual failure for its own global worthlessness and uselessness. What are some examples from life? For example, if you once again failed at the interview, maybe it’s not that you are ugly, but just need to improve your communication skills?
After each failure, weaklings dig a hole with double effort, in which they hurry to bury their self-esteem with honors, deeper, without drawing any useful lessons from the lessons learned, albeit negative, but still experience.
A strong spirit never denies his mistakes, does not dig himself, but looks for solutions to problems, and it is not that easy.
Anger and embarrassment are quite a normal reaction to failures, and to overcome these feelings, it takes a lot of work. You can even learn to savor your own mistakes to give yourself an excuse to become more perfect.
Try to rate yourself on a scale of ten for each significant activity for effort. If your score in some area falls, remember the other cases where it is high. With this technique, you will not derail your whole life because of problems with your work or personal life.
Think In a Positive Manner
The ability to find even the smallest drop of honey in a huge barrel of tar is the most valuable quality of a person with strong psychological resistance. Leading psychologists, relying on their many years of practice, unanimously assert that people who have experienced serious tragic events, such as natural disasters, catastrophes or shootings, restore psychological balance much faster than ordinary patients who complain about problems in work or in the family.
It turned out that those facing death were aware that they had gained some positive experience and that the terrible events had made them more attentive to their family and life in general. When the crisis comes, think about the advantages it has brought you.
Suppose you lost your job… But, on the other hand, how does it feel to come into a dreary office every morning and sit there from call to call? Now you have your hands untied and you can look for something more worthwhile.
It’s all right. Sports. Discipline
The name of the point speaks for itself, and once again we will not describe how important the organization, clear order and visits to the gym are, because you can look through our website and read a lot of cool articles and advices on this topic.
I would just like to point out that stress accumulates aggression, which is expressed in the desire to raise your voice, to get into a fight, to find a reason for open conflict, etc. These emotions can easily jump from the mental to the physical level, sometimes felt as tension in the muscles, causing painful stiffness in the neck and back. One of the effective means of developing the moral and psychological stability of cadets of military universities is combat martial arts.
Training in the gym or martial arts will give muscles the discharge they lack, allowing them to throw out the accumulated aggression. The development of moral stability is a way to predict, calculate and look at several moves forward.
And when life leads you to a dead end, do not eat bricks, giving in to hopelessness, and if necessary, retreat, in order to then replay the situation in their favor.