As simple as it sounds, but this problem is common among men and woman of different ages.
Funny, but you may think that you asked yourself this question only when you were back in the elementary school. But be more honest with yourself – this question might chase you even today when you are a grown-up, self-confident adult.
It scares to realize that after living at least 1/3 of your life – you still don’t know whom you want to be.
You always chased years. When you were 13, you impatiently waited until you become 16. After becoming 16, you expected to hit 18. After you reached even that, you finally wanted to become 21. Now what? 30? 35? But the older you become, the more bizarre things happened in your life. Your plan to become adult was changing its deadline constantly. First, you moved it for a year, then for another, and for sure, today you completely removed the timeframe and moved your adulthood plan somewhere aside.
This is the reality we face. Today, many people don’t know who they are and whom they want to become. Some of them see themselves as useless creatures. Others – think they are complete losers and general waste of time.
So what’s the problem?
You keep comparing yourself to others
Its normal to dream of a better life. But the main problem, in this case, is that you always compare yourself to others.
You don’t have a complete understanding what to do and where to move. Therefore you pick someone’s way, which of course, is a huge mistake.
Someone told you that “Baby” by Justin Bieber is awful, and you keep repeating that phrase, although you heard this song only once or twice in your life.
Here you need to decide: you pretend that you don’t know what to do with your life, or you just like this condition of being lost and complete negativity towards taking any action?
Think about it and chase this feeling away. Such people are needy for compliments and appreciation from others. But how can you compliment someone who doesn’t deserve?
Therefore forget, and stop doing only “good” things. Do whatever you want, whatever has to happen – will happen anyway.
You notice an ill-looking man, pale and skinny. He was saving some cash for a long time, temporary refusing to eat healthily, entertain himself or drink a couple of beers on Friday night with his friends.
He puts his hand in the pocket and takes out ten 100$ bills to pay for iPhone X. But after he brings his new phone back home, performs initial set-up, he has an interesting question born in his head: “What now?”
This was a materialistic desire, and after a couple of weeks of usage, your head has another critical thought: “Was it worth it?”. Well, it seems like his life was so empty and meaningless that the only desire he had was a hecking phone. Now, this target is accomplished, but as expected – it didn’t bring much of a joy. There are no global targets in the head. Even simple: “I want to become rich and famous” brings anxiety. Is it worth it? Should you care about things you don’t like? That’s only because, by the end of the day, you never really wanted anything in your life with all your heart and soul. Neither playing guitar, neither learning how to surf. You just created a temporary target for your self without any pleasure of achieving it.
Instead of saving cash for the latest gadgets, it’s better if you will stop making a mess in your head and meditate in a silent place for at least 10 minutes a day. This is a very good way to throw away all garbage out of your head and push yourself towards a correct path. Didn’t work? Try to talk about your problem with someone. It’s a problem, don’t even argue.
You try to push yourself towards perfection (in your head)
Ordinary people know how to visualize their ideal life when they try to distract someone. When they are alone by themselves – they know all the pros and cons. If you decide to make your life look perfect in front of yourself – that means you have a problem. That being said: most exciting steps are taking instantly, without the second thought.
Sometimes your brain can distract you, especially when you try to cover holes in your life.
You don’t know your tastes
Sounds silly right? But psychologists say that to find out who you are; you have to write down all the things you like and analyze them.
For example, you like playing darts. You write it down, and you start to understand what do you exactly like in this activity. You pick up the pieces and collect the puzzle, which will show you what do you want to do. Anyway, you will get a mess. You like many things, but you cannot explain why. You just like them. In your attempt to find out, you will start to define yourself, and that, my friend, will push you closer to the answer.
You never managed to grow up
The most incredible thing is that you realize that you cannot entertain yourself the whole life. Maybe you like living with your parents the entire life? No, it’s perfect that you got a job at an early age and started to earn good money. But you loved your money – not the job. After a couple of years, you changed a few workplaces, but you still make the same. You don’t like your job the same way, but at least you are paid for doing nothing.
But be honest, your job is excellent, but you don’t want to work harder to progress. You enjoy your current position. You don’t want a promotion – more responsibility and less free time.
That means you didn’t grow up as a career person. You didn’t progress to the next level. And no one can blame you for being lazy – you had an attempt to find yourself, but your search was in the wrong direction.