People who knowingly disrespect themselves are extremely rare. So there’s a great risk of you doing it unintentionally. In a relationship, one partner’s lack of self-respect is a big problem. And if you’re not sure if that is present in your relationship, look at the following signs.
You’re not on your priority list.
In every relationship, you must realize that the most important person, whose opinion and feelings you must listen to always is yourself. There are people who start neglecting themselves when they enter into a relationship. They allow their partner to make serious decisions alone, without coordinating with them, or to limit the freedom of action of the person they love, without wondering how important the planned meeting or event is for them.
It may seem to you that these are trifles and in a relationship everyone behaves this way, but it’s a self-deception. Try to start listening to yourself – whether your partner really listens and hears you and tries to make compromises, or if things aren’t going as smoothly as you imagined.
You rarely say what you really think.
No matter how you twist it, each couple is dominated by one partner and the other is a slave. It doesn’t always come out so vivid that the division is immediately apparent. A guided person rarely shows his true feelings and hardly shares his thoughts. Sometimes it is done in order not to hurt the partner, and sometimes – because of reluctance to start a conflict. But think for a moment: who, if not you, will think about your feelings? You can’t say yes all the time if you realize that the offer is giving you a self-rejection . What’s the point of doing that? You just put another person ahead of you without knowing if they even deserve it.
You apologize a lot.
If most of your suggestions start with the word “sorry,” then there are definitely problems in your relationship. You can’t apologize for everything that happens to you or your life. You don’t have to apologize for your feelings or thoughts, for your partner having a hard day at work. If your girlfriend comes home angry or nervous, you don’t have to apologize, because you’re not the reason for her bad mood. But you can always help her. Just say you understand her, and suggest you do something to make her feel better. In short, get out of your habit of apologizing in situations where it’s not your fault.
You’re not arguing with your partner
There are a lot of arguments and quarrels in healthy relationships. An argument is an expression of your opinion, and that’s okay. If you always keep quiet about what’s going on inside you, or if you agree unconditionally with everything your partner offers you, then it is unlikely that you will be really happy in a relationship. You can’t keep everything inside forever. One day you’ll explode and a fight will not do you any good.
You’re willing to forgive even serious transgressions.
Everyone defines “serious misconduct” in his own way. But all the transcripts have one thing in common: serious transgressions cannot be easily forgiven. If your partner hurt you badly with his behavior or words, he is unlikely to redeem himself with a guilty smile or another declaration of love. At the very least, you will need to talk about what happened and find out why. If a simple apology is enough in your relationship, or if you yourself are willing to take the first step, even if you are still hurt, rethink what is happening.
You’re always doing things that you don’t like.
If you are forced to visit people who dislike you, to help those who do not appreciate you, and basically do most of the actions through “must” and “must”, it is not surprising that almost all the time you are in a bad mood. Your girlfriend’s girlfriends who use your kindness, her relatives who are happy to invite you home to discuss you in front of you – is that what you need? Although if you don’t respect yourself in a relationship and can’t set personal boundaries and show autonomy, you don’t take much care of your state of mind either.
You’re letting other people interfere with your relationship.
Anxiety bell is when your parents know things about your couple that are out of public view, or when your “dedicated” colleagues once again tell you what to do. A self-respecting person will never let other people get into his relationship, especially with advice he has not asked for. When there are more than two people in a relationship, they start to crack at the seams. Just keep that in mind.
You’re not good-looking, sometimes pathetic, unable to do more, stupid, etc. You may get into the habit of saying mean things to yourself. Scolding yourself for any failure and devaluing your success in many people is the meaning of life. But don’t make it yours. If you do not respect yourself and your work, it is unlikely someone else will be able to do it.