On average, an adult spends about a third of his or her time alone. It is spent in different ways: scrolling social networks, endless correspondence, not always necessary and useful, just wasting your time on the Internet. But there are people who feel magical once they are away from the rest of the world, and being alone is not that bad, but rather the opposite.
Enjoy being alone
Time alone is an invitation, a chance to do what you wanted so much. You can read, draw, meditate, practice new language or walk down the street and check all monuments and fountains you pass by. Alone, you can dig through boxes of used books, old cassettes, without worrying about wasting your companion’s day or being sad about your lousy idea of a good time. You don’t need to have a polite conversation. You can go to the park. You can go to Paris if you have money, of course. Men and women are more likely to avoid fun social events, such as going to a movie or a restaurant, if there is no one to accompany them. People believe that going alone will not be so much fun, they are also concerned about how they can be perceived by others. Indeed, for many of us, loneliness is something to avoid, something that is associated with problems such as stress and depression.
Don’t despise people
Human beings, as scientists and philosophers have pointed out, are social animals. And not without reason. Positive relationships are crucial for our survival; for collective knowledge, progress and elementary joy. One of the longest studies of adult life in history has tracked hundreds of men for almost eighty years, and the conclusion over and over again is that good relationships – with family, friends, colleagues and people in our communities – are the key to a happy and healthy life. On the other hand, socially excluded people are at increased risk of illness and cognitive decline, so if you’d like to stand by the window, watching the rainfall and recalling all the sad moments you had in your life – make sure you don’t overdo it.
Loneliness is useful
Over the centuries, people have gone into loneliness for spirituality, creativity, reflection, renewal and meaning. Buddhists and Christians came to the monasteries. People climbed the mountains, went to waterfalls and came back down. Firstly, time spent away from the influence of others allows us to explore and determine who you are. In private life, you can think deeply and independently. There is room for problem solving, experimentation and fantasy. Mind can crackle by focusing on one thing. You can walk on the beach, grab an idea like a seashell, analyze it and hide it in your pocket, or let it go to pick up another one. Thinkers, artists and innovators – from Tchaikovsky to Barack Obama – philosophers and scientists have spent most of their lives alone, including Descartes, Nietzsche and many others. Countless authors, including Shakespeare, Bach, Dickinson, Wharton and others, loved the theme of solitude. Symphonies and songs, poems and plays, paintings and photographs were created alone. For a creative person, the most significant moments are those in which he or she achieves a new epiphany or makes a new discovery; and these moments are mostly, if not always, those in which the person is lonely. But just as time alone may be important for creation (and possible subsequent destruction), it may also be necessary for recovery. Even fifteen minutes spent alone, without electronic devices or social interaction, can reduce the intensity of our senses, potentially leaving us more relaxed, less angry and less concerned.
Do as you please
This is the most important thing – you have to act from your desires and preferences. If you’re a mass madman and can’t live a day without a noisy drink or something like that, it will be very stupid to look for answers to your questions alone. You still need to remember that friends and acquaintances are needed nowadays -in the end, connections often help us achieve some success in the career and life.
How much time alone seems right depends on taste and circumstances. For some people, it is a rare privilege to be alone, something that is difficult to get between a long working hours and a full house. Others may feel they spend too much time alone. Finding a balance that feels good is personal and not necessarily easy.
